Letting The Trees Know

Get it out.

Have You Heard of the Matrix Theory?

Despite everything else, there is something great about this.

Brutal Plates

Was walkin down the street in my neighborhood the other and saw a a kinda beat-up 70s looking blue toyota truck and the (Virginia) license plate read BROOTAL. Now that is a good one.

Gates of Heaven...

... was really fucking good.

Jimmy Johnson's Johnson Pills

Worthwhile Wikipedias

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipe_Espinosa
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Legion_of_Extraordinary_Dancers

Peanutopolis

Romance Defined

Pablo Escobar's Hippos

Buddy Visit

Mike, Stephanie, and Kitty Cat

Foreground, Background

Speed

Looky Look

Nutty Merlin

Drunk

Drunker

Drunkest

Movie Shit

Some of my favorite action packed action movies from the early years, like Under Siege, The Rock, Speed, Cliffhanger, and the ultimate, duh, Con Air (with no less than Nicolas Cage, John Malkovich, John Cusak, Steve Buscemi, and Dave Chappelle). We had most of them on VHS, and it seemed like they were always on the Starz channel for some reason too, which we for some reason got for free, but only in the basement. Went to YouTube to rediscover some of the glory and was glad I did. All the previews are like the exact same, its just a question of whether this is gonna go down on a mountain, or under water, or on an island, or on a bus, or in a boat, or whatever. No matter what though, there WILL be helicopters involved.

Under Siege:
"The Party was Wild."


Speed:
"Cool."


The Rock:
"I'm a chemical super-freak, actually."


Con Air:
"What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go save the day."
(Except in the movie he says, "I'm gonna go save the fuckin day." Also his name is Cameron Poe. Cameron fuckin Poe.)



Con Air is pretty funny to watch in French too. They can't not sound highly civilized.


And now, two tributes to Cliff Hanger. And I would just like to say, well done to those who made these:


(Lets just pretend I did this one)

Hungry?

Check out these glorious Smorgasbords:

Prime Shit

Fuck, I was born on the 23rd, and I ask myself the same questions everyday. Is it all just a coincidence? So what is 23? Is it a blessing or a curse? What does it mean!? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I dreamed that I killed you!

Holy Shit

Keep watching...

High Steaks

Used to love watching this show for some reason. Gotta love a game show where the correct answer might be 'steak' I guess. Also where they call people up by saying:
"Whose got the French's Mustard? Okay, you're on!"

Hey Dude

Music, Video

Couldn't sleep, made video.

THIS IS IT II

That was the name of this lovely boat, though because my cellphone's camera totally sucks, you can't really make it out. Anyway, thar she blows.

I Literally Have Eyes in the Back of My Head. Eyebrows Too. And A Nose. Also A Crazy Mustache. Really, You Could Say I Have a Whole Face Back There.

God Bless Truck Nuts

Cats 'N Keys

Facial Workouts/Hello Nightmares

I actually found one of these in a thrift store one time. I bought it and would joke around with it with people sometimes, but I mean, it still scares me.

And what the fuck is this? I mean...

For more information, which I highly recommend checking out if you're bored out of your mind and/or feel like watching something very weird, follow this link:
http://www.flexawaysystem.com/

A Surprising Advance for Earth Culture

No Surprises There

Sometimes, someone looks exactly like you'd picture them. Ross Douthat, conservative columnist for the Times, is just such a fellow.

Amazing Ping Pong Videos

Two ping pong videos that are pretty cool, but with music that, uh, well, um, why?

This one is like, what? really? why? Rules. And the #1 point is pretty sweet (Ballwechsel?). And in answer to your question metacafe: yeah, I am.

And then there is the opposite of that:

TALK ABOUT FAILURE

I live about twenty steps from a KFC, and they are currently advertising the double down on their marquee. I came home from hanging out a little early the other night but still moderately drunk, and though I had resolutely made up my mind that I just wasn't gonna do it, I decided to get a double down. So I went in and said to the guy something to the effect of, "Um hi, I'd like to try one of those double down sandwich things please" or something stupid like that, and the guy basically just said, "No." He sort of said something after that, but I couldn't really hear him over the shock, and so am still not sure if they were out of them, or didn't make them after a certain hour, or just didn't feel like it or something. I had no backup plan and ended up ordering something really dumb with a side of coleslaw. So anyway, it was a pretty amazing feeling to get straight denied in my attempt to get a gross sandwich I already felt weird about trying for. Perhaps I'll try again tomorrow.

SPECIAL UPDATE: Got one tonight. Got two actually. Most disgusting thing ever. Glad I can put that one behind me.

Sights and Sounds

Hamburger Planet

Planet Hamburger

THE LOST COAST

This one time on a trip to CA I had found some info about seemingly awesome camp sites on the coast but that also sounded kind of tricky to get to, and somehow managed to convince my companions it was a good idea to try despite my own uncertainty. Paranoid this was gonna seriously not work out, and after some real getting to, we did in fact manage to make our way to this camp site that was insanely beautiful and basically right on The Lost Coast. Nice area. Also, we split ways after that, and then about a week and a half later I was checking into some weird hotel in Reno and who should be standing right in front of me in line but Marisa, who I last saw at this place. And then Marisa won a bunch of money from a slot machine the next morning by randomly tossing a quarter in on the way outta the place. I guess sometimes its like that.

smack in the face/stab in the liver/boom front kick/headbutt to the side/heel to the groin/elbow to the head/break the arm

God I love Bas Rutten.


"Somebody is telling me that about my wife? I'm sorry sir, but I'm gonna break your leg."

Well, can I?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgWgEoaAYDY

MXC + Technology = What You See Here

Some years back I used to be into that show MXC which I think was TNN but may have been Spike TV at that point. It stands for Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, and there wasn't really anything like it on at the time. You've probably seen it, but if not, its re-edited footage of this game show on TV in Japan which was all about people eating shit in these ridiculous challenges like trying to run across greased tubes or run across a janky bridge while someone shot volley balls out of a high speed volley ball gun at them etc. (I guess its what that show Wipeout is based on, but that show comparatively is pretty lame, and maybe not even comparatively so, and this show was actually kind of hilarious and awesome.) Anyway, they took the footage and dubbed it with weird and pervy commentary and re-named the hosts Kenny and Vic. Sometimes I'd tape it, and I remember taping the episode this clip was in and just being so pumped that I had caught it on VHS. I watched it over and over for a while and would show it to people whenever they came over and stuff. Because that was before YouTube and that was what you had to do. Now I can just do this:

Don't Stop Believing

QUICK TRYING TO FIGHT IT, ROD RULES. SHAMELESSLY AUDACIOUS, THE DUDE GIVES A FUCK.

Seriously. And I've really been enjoying watching him on the Celebrity Apprentice, where he and Mr. Trump are having a pretty epic hair showdown:



And then there is this:


I'm watching the show right now, and Rod was just talking about how the whole world of Harry Potter is really cool and how "sometimes I wish I were there on a permanent basis." Cool.


****SPOILER ALERT**** (Like anyone else is watching this.)


FUUUUUUCK. Rod just got the axe. Or the boot. Or canned or whatever. Point is, fuck that.

---------------- (aka Whopper Letdown)

Man I had the worst time at this Burger King in Chinatown today. I just needed a quick bite, which turned into like a ten-minute-free-for-all-line-situation, and I wound up behind someone that kept making all these separate orders and paying separately and shouting to someone to go ask so and so if they wanted cheese in this real rude and obnoxious kind of way... and this was followed by like a many-many-more-minutes in an angry-confused-free-for-all-waiting-for-your-order-pit. And the Whopper, unexpectedly, sucked. It was like every component was a bad imitation of itself, but not in the jokey good way that McDonald's does it, but in this real gray area kind of way. And it was like $7.50. That much for a gross #1 that is hell to get? I mean, one time in Denver I was kind of drunk and went to get a Whopper from that Burger King on Broadway, and the inside was closed but the drive through was open. But I was on my bike, so this dude was like, "Hey, come around back here," and then gave me a Whopper for free out of the back door. It was cool. This was the opposite of that.

Lord of Rings

Nazgul/Wicked Air Guitar/Uli Uli


Listen to Your Heart

Oh Yeah

Contestable Self-Procaimed Bong King

Neglected Water Bed

CRYONTICS/TOTAL INSANITY/LET US DIE YOUNG OR LET US LIVE FOREVER

"We regard clinical death as potentially reversible in the future."

So the New Yorker (lets not get into it right now) ran an article a little while back about the current pioneer of this whole freezing dead people thing, and he totally believes that the people he sees are 'patients' and not corpses in the traditional sense, and has frozen his past two wives and believes that through cryonics there is a strong chance one can be brought back to life from the freezer in the not so distant future. They also have frozen pets in this place. I mean ya okay maybe, say this works and you get brought back to life in the future world with a bunch of other maniacs of a like mind, and then what? Go eat a killer sandwich and feel so glad to be alive again? Its like, ya, wicked, but really? I mean, I want to see how insane the future is gonna be as much as the next guy, but the future is happening now, and maybe just read some science fiction instead. Anyway, here is the main website for "Your Last Best Chance For Life."

http://www.cryonics.org/

I posted something earlier about this fucked up dream I had where I was dead but still alive, and I imagine it would be something like that. Like oh fuck I'm dead but here I am. Am I on LOST?

Seriously trip on this vid of some hometown 90s practitioners. Its a case of weird science.


And another taste.

.


And on a somewhat related note, this is pretty heavy. The description of the video from YouTube is: "The best gymnasts who never made it to the Olympics, through politics, injury, or bad luck."

Living Room Earlier

Tommy Mars

Heroic Homo Sex/Cock Rub Warriors Unite!!!

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Yellowstone

Used to go every summer. One of my favorite places on Earth.

Living Dead

I had a really weird dream this morning where I died, but I was still alive. Like I definitely died, but then I was alive in my own body, not like some spirit ghost. It was me, but the world was new, like two parallel worlds right on top of each other. And I found my body laying near this ditch, and these people were trying to get me to go with them, but I was like, I can't just leave myself lying there. But I didn't have a shovel and there was no time, so I tried to just throw some dirt on myself. But I couldn't really bear leaving myself like that, so I cut my own head off so I could at least bury that and wouldn't be laying there abandoned looking up at the sky forever, rotting away. And it was my real head from when that was me, which it still was, but I was alive in my own body in another world which was the same world. Then I wrapped some wet paper towels around it and put it in a large piece of tupperware, and then I was hanging out in this basement and I put it in the fridge. And then my brother came in and he was gonna get a beer out of the fridge or something, and I was like, look out man, my head is in there. And he was like, why? And I told him I didn't know, because I still needed to bury it or something. It was actually a nightmare, a pretty bad one, replete with some pretty weird emotions. But then hey, at least it wasn't a full blown night terror.

Meta Home Depot

From Kindergarten

Now all Indians live forever.

Squirrel People

I overheard this lady at Target a couple days ago tell her kid, "That's not a robot its a blanket."

CAT TIME

?


The dark and the light:


And From Yours Truly:

Went to Coney Island the Other Day