Thursday, November 10, 2011

Found this at a thrift store a little while ago. The eyes had fallen out so someone glued red beads in the sockets. Probably looked weirder in person. Should have bought it.

Reminds me of the excellent film: Devil Dog: Hound of Hell

Hospital Hangout

So I had to go to Woodhull hospital the other day for an asthma issue, like semi-emergency style, nothing crazy. And I will say the staff was really nice and helpful, and quickly got me to the asthma room and to some vaporized medicine that was desperately needed. (Also I went and talked to the finance department after the ordeal was over on the advice of the doctor that saw me, and though it was just two ladies in this weird tiny little room, AND I had to have x-rays done, they somehow found a way to make my bill a mere $15. Seriously. Apparently they do this like income based system there, you just have to speak to 'em before you take off. So thank you for that Woodhull.) BUT, that being said, the breathing treatment room was fucking weird, all these medical chairs facing forward, with these weird medicine pumps next to them. This asshole next to me would not shut up and this jerk behind me was snoring unbearably loud. There was a weird little t.v. in front of the room with the Maury Show on it. I was there for about 6 hours total. So this nurse was being really cool. She brought us some breakfast food, which was awesome, and gave me the only bagel because she also thought the guy next to me was annoying. Also, when I got back from having some tests done said she she was hooking me up with lunch. (Which is funny cause the medicine they give you is like speed, and was just making me insanely jittery and un-hungry.)Me: "Wow, great, thank you!" Her: "I'm gonna get you a bologna sandwich, it is by far the best one we got." Me: "Cool, thanks." Then the sandwich came, and I am absolutely not complaining, but it was one slice of weird meat between two pieces of white bread and that was it. All I'm trying to say is, how much worse does it get when the best thing comes with the absolute minimal amount of stuff? I was able to procure some mayonnaise, slathered it on, and ate the thing. So then I needed to wash my hands. And that is when I took full notice of the sign above my head. It tells you that germs are bad or something and so you should remind your doctor to wash his/her hands. Remind the fucking doctor to wash their hands!? Dude,what the hell?

Bologna sandwich;


Wash hands sign. (Picture is at a weird angle cause I didn't wanna look like a jerk taking it. Gotta check out the fine print.)

Untitled

I don't want to be a dick about this so I'm just not gonna say anything.

You learn something every day

Dude! Did you know Chef Boyardee is a real person? And that that means its healthy? Now we know!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Is it one word or two?

Shitload or shit load? You tell me. Sound off in the comments.
(Also just image searched that and apparently that is a very stupid word to use, because the corresponding pictures were just like boobs and unappealing looking fried food. Shit-load does sound pretty dumb. Right? Spout off in the comments. Can't think of another stupid way to put that, but if you can, go ahead and animadvert in the zone designated for other people's remarks.)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Ok, check out this lame-ish thing I'm about to do:

Seriously pseudo deep presentation of another evening googling shit like "has anyone ever" and "do some people?" etc. Posted something about this earlier with accompanying screen shot, but gonna omit that for now and just copy and paste what the search bar autofills. (And let me just be honest here. Obviously not all letters of the alphabet following the words "do other people" lend themselves to interesting autofills, so you gotta pick and choose. But I do think that the word "chasm" is a good way to remember some of the "good" ones (which is not to say they are in any way more revealing than the more "boring" ones). Basically, it makes for a good acrostic, cause like, hey, isn't that kind of what these types of inquiries are trying to traverse or whatever. You know, the great divide man. WHAT MAN!?

So just the unedited first 4 search suggestions for each letter typed after the phrase

DO OTHER PEOPLE:

C:
celebrate halloween?
call each other ugly?
cope?
cheat?

H:
hate me?
have feelings?
hear you?
hear American accent?

A:
affect you?
admire you?
admire me?
abuse others?

S:
see other colors?
see you as you see yourself?
see your circles?
see?

M:
make?
make you feel bad about yourself?
make fun other people[sic]?
migrate other countries[sic]?

Halloween 2011. Me, Amber, Emily